We love lard

Apparently, we are facing a national, nay European-wide, shortage of lard. It's all the fault of those nasty Polish and Hungarian chaps - according to the BBC, they've been buying up all the cheap cuts of pork in Europe to make sausages and salami, so there's nothing left for us British lard-lovers. Rationing's already started - Somerfield have been forced to limit the number of tubs on sale in their stores. I foresee panic buying from cross-channel swimmers as we speak.